So far in this series on things I've learnt about decisions I have discussed the impact of considering consequences, and those important sources of courage - our cheer-leaders. In this post I want to discuss another group of people that I have found to be important in helping me to make some of the bigger decisions I have had to face. I call these people External-influencers.
To me, an external-influencer is significantly different to a cheer-leader for a number of reasons.
Firstly, they are usually impartial. This doesn't mean they don't care if you succeed or not, just that they share their experiences, wisdom and knowledge with no expectation of personal gain. They may be people that you have known for a long time, or people that you have only just met, but they are always people that are willing to share openly things that you need to know.
I've also come to believe that they don't necessarily have a close temporal relationship to the decision you are working on. A number of times I have thought of the wise words of people that I have known and long since parted from. These words had obviously stuck with me, and at the right time the memory of them has arisen to help me in balancing the consequences.
The biggest benefit that External-influencers bring, I think, is wisdom of the unforeseen consequences. Their words can allow you to prepare for something lying ahead that you had not considered. If your decision is going to take you into uncharted waters then it is a good idea to actively seek out a few of these, because it just may be that you don't currently have any in your network. Now I'm not one for seeking out mentors and the like, but buying someone a coffee to ask their opinion and experiences never hurt anyone that I know of, and it is something that I try to do from time to time.
As with Cheer-leaders, I again feel it is important not to weight your pros and cons as a result of External-influencers. This again is abrogating your responsibility for the decision you are about to make, diminishing your ownership of the decision and outcome.
In my last post in this series I will summarize my thoughts on the topic, and close with the reason that we put our selves in a position of making difficult decisions.
